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Rum's bestfriend - advise please

 
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MJ
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 9:18 am    Post subject: Rum's bestfriend - advise please  Reply with quote

My daughter's best friend is lying in an induced coma down in edinburgh, which has lead to quite a few tears on all round. But it has lead me to wonder how I prepare should the worst happen. How do you deal with a twelve year old losing their best friend?

for those who feel they can please pray for him.
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Sassinak
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 10:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In some respects it does help that there has been illness first and therefore a degree of 'preparedness'. I suppose it depends a lot of the amount of faith or religious beliefs the family has. Me, my daughter and particularly my oldest grandson like to think of my son as being a benevolent spirit who is now floating about the place and still joining in with our lives.

Be guided by your daughter. I found it distressing that people would change the subject and not talk about my son, whereas I have a friend who gets so upset that she cannot speak of her sister in public. If she wishes to talk about her friend, encourage her to - never let her see that you are bored with hearing about her ! But if she wants to stay silent and in effect bury her head in the sand, then let her alone and don't try to force the issue.
We all mourn in different ways and really age doesn't matter because it doesn't get any easier to understand as we get older :-(
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MJ
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 11:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

things are looking up, but we're not out of the woods, he's woken up but is in the high dependancy. thanks Sass.
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MJ
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 10:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just like to say thankyou again, after trying to prepare myself for the worst, he's made a mircalous recovery, after not being sure he'd make the night last night, they are talking about sending him back to shetland on friday.
Poor boy, he was a little concerned that he maybe hadn't had his appendix out, he hadn't realised he was in a different hospital or that it was 25hrs later.
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 11:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh I am so pleased for him, and you

It is marvellous how quickly the young can bounce back isn't it
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zombiecazz
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 2:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That sounds like really good news.
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 1:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That must have been awful - glad to hear that he's making progress.
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 6:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He's HOME!!! he was on life support on Wednesday and he's home on friday.
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent news... glad to hear he's making some kind of recovery (no idea what the illness was, etc).

I've always taken the line of speaking honestly to our kids about things like that, so when we got the news that my granda had been taken into the hospital and they were talking hours of life left (ended up being ~48hrs), we told the kids straight away.

They even went in to see him before the end, they didn't want to to start with, then the youngest (who used to sit with him at his breakfast and chat) wanted to see him.

I think kids are more open to things than people (adults) give them credit for. As long as you can take time to explain it to them so that they understand it (and don't scare them) they tend to be fine.

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