My poor girlie

PurpleDragon · My poor girlie

My poor Lala - she hates going to school. All the girls there are princesses and Lala is a right tomboy, so none of the girls will play with her. The boys aren't really interested in playing with a girl, so she is feeling it.

The hates the work, and although she is really bright, she just doesn't 'get it' and because she is unhappy to start with, this just compounds the issue and she is getting mental blocks that are stopping her picking up the stuff she doesn't get.

Every morning is worse. This morning she was clinging onto me, hiding her face in her coat and refusing to change her shoes.

It is SO hard because she was SO excited about school, being a 'big girl' and going to school like her big Bro, and now it is just a nightmare for her and she hates every second of it. Every night she is begging to be homeschooled.

When I got back this morning, I was in tears. Naturally I didn't let her see me upset, but it was hard.

I just don't know how to make this better for her.

baldowrie

Time to have a informal chat with the head about how they set lower goals she can achieve and how to make school better for her.

PurpleDragon

Well, DH is going to have a chat with her tonight. I think that I have been so used to working in a particular way with my son, (who as you know has dyslexia) that I need to rework MY work ethic to suit her. Obviously, different children work differently. I shall also have a wee chat with her teacher.

wildgarlic

Big hugs PD - I hope the chat with the head helps.

baldowrie

Best thing, make them aware how unhappy she is and go from there.

My sons teacher has just been brought to task by his occupational therapist. She gave him a fidget toy which I was concerned about as he has my condition, hypermobility syndrome. She insisted she was correct and it was right. OT have condemned it and said what I gave him was correct and 'here's a stand by'. She is not happy, but hey listen and things are done to help you!

PurpleDragon

Well, she was quite a bit happier tonight (it being Friday) but one of the little girls gave her a big hug and said she was looking for ward to seeing her on Monday. That is a little girl who is being invited for a playdate!

We have decided to take a different tack with the homework, and she is already making headway.

baldowrie

Good, she needs to makes firends and she will be happier.

Regarding homework, this maybe useful for you;

http://www.parentscentre.gov.uk/e...ningathomeoutsideschool/homework/

PurpleDragon

Oh, yes, being accepted by your peers make so much difference. I know - I was bullied dreadfully.

Thanks for the link - I shall have a long look at it later

IainC

Definitely, try and get her involved with the other lassies as much as possible, even if it means turning them all into tomboys as well

PurpleDragon

LOL their Mums would likely be mortified - their Princesses, dirty?!?

IainC

PurpleDragon

animalcrackers

i feel for you. my youngest child has started school this term and is feeling 'lost'. i hope she has a better week next week. tomboys have a good deal more fun than princesses once some of the girls get to know your daughter they will realise that and join in. inviting other children round is a really good idea

PurpleDragon

Well, hopefully next week will be better than this one was. I hope your little one settles soon as well.

IainC

I think most kids (unless they are very unlucky) tend to settle down and fit in one way or the other, even if that means only one or two really good friends.

PurpleDragon

I hope she will be one of those kids.

PurpleDragon

Well, I had a word with Lala's teacher this morning.
Apparently all the other kids have got about 20 words and she is still on 6.
The teacher said she could see there was a problem and she is going to discuss it with the SENCO at the school.
She thinks with The Boy's dyslexia there may be a problem with Lala too.
The teacher said she knew Lala had an issue with the words, and we are going to go about her homework in a different manner to see if we can get to her from another angle.
She also said that she felt Lala was settling in great in all other aspects of school, including friends, so I think that the reading thing is colouring Lala's view of school, and once we can get thru to her, things will settle down.

Smooth Hound

I am glad it is working out, my son has adhd , unfortunately the school he was at would recognise adhd then, now they do, its a good thing when the school recognises these things and is willing to work with it, infact its impossible when they wont, it sounds positive.

PurpleDragon

Yes, I am very pleased with the school my kids are in. They have a really good SEN programme and are really supportive.

baldowrie

wildgarlic

Glad you are getting some support from the school!

PurpleDragon

[quote="baldowrie]if it 'frightens' her because she knows is not good at it, it would give her the feeling of not liking school[/quote]

My thoughts exactly.

baldowrie

Have you tried some of these books that have CD's with them, so they listen and read at the same time...Horried Henry books do them

PurpleDragon

Yeah, she does have those, but if I explain :

when she looks at words it has the same effect for her as looking at Chinese writing would do for you or I (here's hoping you aren't fluent in written Chinese

). The letters just don't mean anything to her. She can't see the spaces between the words, or recognise any of the individual letters she can sound.

baldowrie

I know that. I have to do a decoding with my friend every time she emails me

They just help to unjumble things a little at her pace

fluffywelshsheep

baldowrie

Don't know if I said it before but IEP!

Individual Educational Programme. It's not just from children with disabilities and can be just a temporary need.....it is used if a need is shown for it i.e if she can't cope with one aspect of work she requires an IEP that is suited to her and not what the teachers wants. My son is a fantastic reader but is being held back because he can't write about it in a comprehension exercise. He has an IEP but this allowance is not on it. I have a meeting to today so will asking that the IEP be changed to suit HIS needs

Yes push for testing. My friend went through Secondary school being called dumb and stupid by the teachers. When she left at 16 her parent managed to get her diagnosed as dyslexic. She is now a freelance account but won't take an exam because she has no confidence to. She is also a manic depressive with self esteem issues thanks to the school system

PurpleDragon

We seem to be in a hiaitus situation right now. Thinks are slowly sinking in, and because she is making (slow) progress, the teacher is feeling reassured.

I, however, am not resting on my laurels, and I have bought her home-ed stuff and have been working here with her. I think this is why she is progressing.

Poor kid is having such a nightmare, struggling at school and coming to terms with being coeliac.

However, having had friends round to play has worked some magic. She now has a 'best friend' and when I watch her walk into school, children are coming over to her to greet her, instead of waiting for her to come to them (which she wasn't doing, thru shyness).

I have hope

baldowrie

she should have an IEP just because she is Coeliac any way so she is the additional needs system and it can be accessed if needed...schools are very fierce about not starting this and extremely fierce about not starting a coordinated support file as that means there are certain thing they MUST do.

PurpleDragon

I know that they have opened a Care Plan for her because of the Coeliac. I'm not sure why an IEP would cover her CD, though? Isn't an IEP for educational support rather than physical/health support?

baldowrie

it's for both as one impacts on the other