niki
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funny things kids sayAnother great thing i found on another website posted by one of the mums.
Cute...Subject: Mom test. I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. 'Why?' my daughter asked. 'Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs' I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, 'Momma, how do you know all this stuff. You are so smart.' I was thinking quickly. 'All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mom Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mom.' We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. 'Oh...I get it!' she beamed, 'So if you don't pass the test you have to be the dad. ''Exactly', I replied back with a big smile on my face.
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wildgarlic
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hahahhaha HAHAHAHAHAHA I love it!!!!!!
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wildgarlic
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I remember walking down a street and we saw some pampas grass in the garden... my son announced "Someone couldn't be bothered to cut their grass"
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niki
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hes so funny, ive heard a few good ones on our encounters.
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Julie
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I have a few good ones about you lot.
How about.......... when you (Niki) and Shelly were sitting at the dining room table at my Mum's house Talking to your Great grandmother (my Nanny).
Nanny turned to Shelly and said 'Isn't your little sister a darling.'
'That's not what my mummy calls her', Shelly said.
'Oh?? and what does Mummy say then?' said my Nan.
'My mummy calls her a buddy moostance' Shelly said, as if it were a compliment
or...Downstairs on the bus, sat on those seats at the back that face each other. They were particularly appealing to kids as they were higher up than the rest and their little legs didn't even touch the floor. I let them sit on one by themselves 'cause they felt all grown up and I sat opposite next to another woman. This woman had dyed her hair jet black and scraped it up roughly into one of those eighties type ponytail styles, which looked like a pineapple.
Niki sat there studying the woman and suddenly piped up, 'Look at that womans hair, it's really messy,'
I started to curl up inside and pray for her to be struck dumb and then five yr old Shelly - obviously just as aware of how inappropriate her little sisters comment was said, 'Niki, don't be rude, she probably hasn't had time to brush it yet.'................................
Anyone got a paper bag big enough for my head please
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wildgarlic
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ROFL aren't kids great
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monkey nuts
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Lol.. The bus bit made me laugh..and remember what my eldest said to make me blush when he was a toddler.
He was at the age where he had realised that people sometimes had two names and was quite proud that he knew both. Sitting directly behind the driver I asked Chris "what is mummy's name?"..."Paula" says he..."and Nanna?".."Lilly" says he...."And daddy?"...."mm" says Chris very loudly "he battard!!" Mummy Paula exits left :oops:
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niki
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love it
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Julie
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They drop you in it every time
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lor138
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...And why do they always pick up the words that you don't want them to say??!!
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PurpleDragon
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Tale from my FIL and niece, who was the first born grandchild and everyone was very proud of her. She looked like an angel with her long blond wavy hair and pretty face.
FIL took her to his work to show her off and while he was standing there talking to his colleagues, niece was standing looking at her finger.
FIL : "What have you got there, hen?"
Niece "I don't know, Granda. I found it in ma nose"
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dizzyblond
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As some of you know I am currently taking part in the Aviemore Xmas Market. On Saturday my lovely other half and his children came down to help me for a bit.
Along with my orgnaic candles and natural body care goodies I also supply turtle bags..........which are obviously encouraging us not to use plastic bags. for anyone who doesn;t know turtles fav food is jelly fish but us norty humans leave plastic bags around the the turtles eat them mistaking them for jelly fish.
I explained this to Joe who is 9 back in the summer and he is so into animals and wild life - bless him.
Before I could stop him on saturday - Joe was lecturing a lady perusing my goodies on why she should buy a turtle bag!!!!!!!! He was so polite and 100% sure of his facts - the lady couldn't stop smiling and bought a bag from him!!!!!!!
Not bad for a little lad whose meant to be autistic!!!!!
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PurpleDragon
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Well done, him! That is excellent.
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Sassinak
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Shopping in B&Q with grandson Mike who would have been about 3/4 at the time. He went missing and was found after a panic 10 minute search. When asked where he had been he said he went for a wee - where? - in the toilet of course!
Shame they don't connect the toilet displays to the water main isn't it lol
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wildgarlic
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| Sassinak wrote: | Shopping in B&Q with grandson Mike who would have been about 3/4 at the time. He went missing and was found after a panic 10 minute search. When asked where he had been he said he went for a wee - where? - in the toilet of course!
Shame they don't connect the toilet displays to the water main isn't it lol |
PMSL!!!
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Julie
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Wonder who got to clean that one up
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PurpleDragon
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| wildgarlic wrote: | | I remember walking down a street and we saw some pampas grass in the garden... my son announced "Someone couldn't be bothered to cut their grass" |
I have been led to believe that pampas grass in one's garden indicates an interest in joining the Swinger Set.
We inherited ours when we bought the house, I hasten to say!
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pete_inthehills
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| PurpleDragon wrote: | | I have been led to believe that pampas grass in one's garden indicates an interest in joining the Swinger Set. |
I've heard that said, but it must be an urban myth. What do they do? Just wander up the path past the pampas, knock on the door and say "Hi, fancy a foursome?"
Pete
inthehills
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PurpleDragon
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| pete_inthehills wrote: | I've heard that said, but it must be an urban myth. What do they do? Just wander up the path past the pampas, knock on the door and say "Hi, fancy a foursome?"
Pete
inthehills |
ROFL - I dunno what they do. Frankly, I have no idea how these folk get together at all. I just cannot imagine mentioning it to someone at the school gate or something.
"Good morning. How is young Ethel doing at school? Excellent! Would you like to join the local Swingers Club?"
The whole thing quite fascinates me, actually. People are the bizarrest of creatures!
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lor138
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| PurpleDragon wrote: |
I have been led to believe that pampas grass in one's garden indicates an interest in joining the Swinger Set.
We inherited ours when we bought the house, I hasten to say! |
I do hope this isn't true. A few houses in our local sheltered housing scheme for the elderly have pampas grass in their front gardens!!!!!
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PurpleDragon
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Yes, well - you hear things about the elderly!
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wildgarlic
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| lor138 wrote: | | PurpleDragon wrote: |
I have been led to believe that pampas grass in one's garden indicates an interest in joining the Swinger Set.
We inherited ours when we bought the house, I hasten to say! |
I do hope this isn't true. A few houses in our local sheltered housing scheme for the elderly have pampas grass in their front gardens!!!!! |
rofl!!!!
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kimmie
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| Quote: | ROFL - I dunno what they do. Frankly, I have no idea how these folk get together at all. I just cannot imagine mentioning it to someone at the school gate or something.
"Good morning. How is young Ethel doing at school? Excellent! Would you like to join the local Swingers Club?" |
Would imagine they do their meet up via the internet now....wouldnt know how they did it in the 70's though!!
as for the pampas grass i would imagine that was a myth...i bought one for my last house down south, but only to stop the wind from coming round the corner into my kitchen! wasnt a swinger then!!..............................................................................oh and i am NOT one now before anyone ask's
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Kelly
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I hope this shift in the link to swinging isn't going to appear on more threds! Here I was having a chuckle at the things kids say (btw when your 3 yr old has trouble with something vexing (as mine did) and say's "oh f*** it" loud enough for next doors yummy mummy to hear, it's time to tone down the language  ) then I'm bang in the middle of a debate on how to find out if someone swings!! Yey gods I may swoon from shock! And on such a genteel forum too!
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aritchie71
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oh bugger, we have six pampas grass plants, so anyone in this neck of the woods, especially of the female variety..........!
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